Being a Best Friend

Have you ever thought about how you treat your best friend?

There are a lot of ways that we can be better friends to others. So often we think about ourselves and how we want to be treated that we can forget about what we could be doing for others. An important part of having great, healthy relationships is being the one to take the first step toward being a better friend. Here are some ideas to get you started. Pick two to try this month!

Be their #1 Fan! Among your friends, most of them probably have something they are involved in or passionate about – an athletic team, choir, garage band, artistic expression, theatre production, or even part-time job. One of the best ways to be a better friend is to go to your friends’ games, shows, exhibits and work shifts to let them know that you support them – you are their biggest fan! Tell them that you are proud of their achievements and you think they are a success. Sure, it’s also great to hang out afterward or on their break, but showing up for the main event says that you support what your friend does. And that is one of the best things you can do for someone else.

Pay Attention You may not be able to afford very much, but you can give the gift of attention. For many people, a gift is only so-so unless there is some meaning attached to it. When you notice that your friend is always asking to borrow a pen, show up one day with a whole handful of them wrapped as a gift. When your friend really likes one of your CDs, buy him his own copy. What’s your friend’s favorite ice cream? Buy a carton to share!

Listen (and ask questions) There may not be enough to talk about to have deep conversations every day, but we can all be listeners. Turning off the TV or putting down a magazine to pay attention to what your friend is saying clearly says, “You matter.” Better yet, ask questions. Not just, “What’s up?” but questions about what is really going on. Hey, how’d the history test go? Are your parents still fighting a lot? When do you find out about the job interview? Then listen to your friend. Don’t give advice, just listen.

Be a Team Player Some people are natural leaders, some aren’t, but all of us feel good when people like our ideas or follow our suggestions. Think of you and your friend as a team. Compromise is good, but sometimes being a team player means letting your friend pick the movie (even if you want to watch something else). But be careful! This idea doesn’t apply to everything. You shouldn’t do anything that you think is morally wrong just because your friend wants to do it.