If I want to be abstinent, is it still okay to masturbate?

Yes, that person may be exhibiting self control in many other ways – by not dating or messing around with another person. And that’s great, because then he or she is protected from the struggle and heartbreak of a broken relationship or too much physical intimacy. He or she is also protecting the other person. Additionally, there are no risks of getting an STD or getting pregnant if a person chooses to masturbate alone. But masturbation can have its downsides, and it can be a potential threat to maintaining true abstinence.

Firstly, even though a person is not engaging sex, masturbation acts like sex in that it involves both the mind and the body. Certain hormones (oxytocin, dopamine and epinephrine) flood the body. These hormones are also present during sexual activity with another person. The body and mind respond to masturbation the same way they would to drugs or alcohol. And like drugs or alcohol, it can become addicting or habit forming.

Secondly, practicing masturbation means that it may be more tempting in certain situations to act out sexually. For example, if someone is engaging masturbation privately, at home, a habit may be forming. If that person begins to date, the pleasurable thoughts and feelings brought about by the habit are there in the background of his or her mind. It’s very easy to want to act on those thoughts with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Thirdly, if a teen makes a practice of masturbation, when he or she reaches adulthood that person may have problems connecting with a significant other. Intimacy with another person is far more complex than the experience of masturbation. Another possible issue, that person may not be able to stop the old habit, even though they are now in a committed relationship in which sexual activity is healthy, acceptable, and appropriate.

 If you desire to be abstinent, instead of thinking “What can I do?” try thinking instead about, “What can I avoid?” Remember that sex and sexual activity affect the whole person, and try to choose what is going to keep your body, mind, and future, the healthiest.