Strategic Living

How many of you have ever read an adventure story? When I was in elementary school, there were these “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. Do they still make those? You’d read the beginning of an adventure story, and at a crucial moment, the author would ask, “What do you do?” You as the reader had two choices. It might say, “Follow the masked stranger. Turn to page 17.” Or “Go explore the rickety attic. Turn to page 43.” So you made your choice, turned the page, and read the consequences of your actions, and the story went from there. I loved them.

Speaking of childhood, how many of you ever played a game like “Trust”? Not the falling one, but the one where you were blindfolded and had to have a friend lead you around so you wouldn’t, you know, trip or smash into a wall or something. It was always a little nerve-wracking, right?

I’ve been thinking lately that life feels a lot like those two things – a “Choose Your Own Adventure” story, or a blindfolded game of trust. Living in the world we do today, we are surrounded by voices, messages, people, all telling us what to buy, what to wear, what to eat, what cool, what’s not. Basically, telling us how to live. Take 30 seconds right now and jot down a list of messages you hear every day. Where do they come from? Parents, friends, and teachers? What about music, TV, and movies? What about the opinions in your own head? What do those voices tell you about school, careers, friendships, and sex?

With all these voices, it can be tough to make decisions. It’s a bit like turning the page in an adventure book, or playing a game of blind-man’s trust. Listening to all the different voices can make you want to crumple up and disappear – or maybe explode.

So how do you make decisions? How do you decide who to listen to? Maybe the little choices (what to eat, wear, etc) are easy. But what about the bigger, harder choices?

Well, think back to that game of blind-man’s trust. When we are faced with choices, there are really three things to do:

  1. We have to take off the blindfold. The best way to start making a decision is to figure out who is doing the talking. To do that, we need to be able to see clearly. Who’s trying to persuade you?
  2. We have to decide who to trust. Is that person or thing sending that message out for your good, or their own? Do they care about you as a person, or just about themselves (or what they can get from you)? If you listen to their message, how will it affect you – the hopes and goals you have for your life?
  3. We have to move. Once we know what we think, we have to act on it. Take that after school job. Say hi to the kid in your math class. Don’t go to that party, see a movie instead. Making choices is about taking action steps. It’s about gaining independence, and learning from our choices, even if we make a mistake and suffer some difficult consequences. Usually, though, good choices will lead to good outcomes, and bad choices to, well… bad ones. Which do you want?

Typically, we have people in our lives who are for us, and it’s wise for us to take their advice, even when it’s difficult. But sometimes, we need to listen to our own self as well – and stand alone in the midst of a crowd. That can be hard, but necessary. Choosing – it’s all about being decisive, creating your own identity, and learning more about who you are. And in the end, all the work is worth it!