Teen Perspective: How far is too far?

Answer from Taylor, our high school intern:

Taylor, Elmhurst, IL

This question is one that many people ask and that is frequently debated. Some hold the view that dating in and of itself is too far. Others approve of dating and draw the line at sexual intercourse. I can’t tell you an exact point that is “too far”, but hopefully I can lead you to an informed decision.

I think it is safe to say that sexual intercourse is too far. It can cause you physical, emotional, and mental pain. Sex is a bonding experience. Chemicals in both girls and guys are released during the process. By engaging in sex with multiple partners, you are constantly creating and breaking bonds (McIlhaney). Why put yourself through that kind of pain? There is also the risk of contracting one of 20 sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). One in four teenagers has an STD, many of which have few detectable symptoms (Speck 63-69). There is no way to guarantee that your partner is not carrying an STD without their, and your, knowledge.

I would encourage you stay away from oral sex, anal sex, and anything that does not involve clothing. These actions are often promoted as safer than intercourse. However, it is still possible to contract an STD from any one of these.

Other actions: kissing, making out, touching, etc. are harder to pinpoint. There aren’t as many concrete consequences. This is where personal convictions come into play. Are you respecting yourself through these actions? Are you respecting your partner through these actions? When you enter into the most committed relationship of your life, marriage, will you be comfortable telling your spouse what you have done? All of these questions can help you form your own opinion of “how far is too far”.

Mcllhaney, Joe S. New science on how casual sex is affecting our children. Chicago: Northfield Pub., 2008.

Speck, Greg. Sex it’s worth waiting for. Chicago: Moody P, 1989.