Top 3 Ways to Abstain

 October 2007 by Wendell

During my time as an Abstinence Educator, I’ve heard a number of responses to the concept of abstinence. One popular response is “Come on Wendell…It’s impossible to be abstinent.” When I questioned further, I found that students weren’t really saying that abstinence is impossible, but that it is extremely difficult. This opinion coupled with the fact that many people have only a few examples of people who have actually waited, leads people to believe that abstinence is impossible. Amazingly, though it seems impossible, most people still agree that abstinence from sexual activity until marriage is the healthiest choice regarding sexuality.

So since we agree that abstinence is the healthiest choice, though a very difficult one, I’ve come up with some tips to make it easier on you. Let’s be real here…college is difficult too. But do we drop out just because we’re struggling? No, we “stick it out” because we know the purpose is greater than the process! So here we are…Wendell’s top 3 ways to remain abstinent until marriage! There will be more to come in the following months. Enjoy!

  1. Talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about sex before you enter into a relationship with them. You’d be surprised how many people are in a committed relationship with someone and have no idea what that person’s plans for sex are. Talking about it and letting your partner know where you stand eliminates all the guess work.
  2. Date with a game plan. Never go out on a date with someone if you don’t have specific plans for that date. Not having plans leads to trouble because while you’re trying to figure out something to do and just “ridin’ around”, your hormones will begin to make some enticing suggestions!
  3. Be careful where you date. There’s a phrase that’s very popular in the Real Estate industry. It states “Location, Location, Location!” This suggests that where a property is, determines its fate. This phrase can also be used with abstinence. If your plan is to remain abstinent, you may want to avoid certain places. Better yet, associate places with actions. You go to the grocery store to get groceries; the bank to get money; the bedroom with your boyfriend or girlfriend…(not to have intellectual conversation about Shakespeare!) Stay out of bedrooms (especially when parents aren’t home), basements, dark places, and any where else where sex is likely to take place. Be smart and avoid the situation all together.